Domestic abuse is an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, in most cases by a partner or ex-partner, or by a family member or carer.
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, and it can take many forms. This can include psychological, physical, sexual, financial, and emotional abuse.
Domestic abuse also includes so-called ‘honour’ based violence, female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage.
For urgent help
If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you are in danger and unable to talk on the phone, dial 999 and listen to the questions from the operator and respond by coughing or tapping the handset if you can. How to make a silent 999 call | Metropolitan Police
What is an abusive relationship?
Each intimate or family-like relationship is unique. In abusive relationships the abuser tries to control their partner. This may be, but isn’t limited to:
- keeping you from seeing your friends or family
- preventing you or making it hard for you to continue or start studying, or go to work
- constantly checking up on you or following you
- unjustly accusing you of flirting or of having affairs with others
- constantly belittling or humiliating you, or regularly criticising or insulting you
- making you feel afraid, which makes you change your behaviour
- deliberately destroying any of your possessions
- hurting or threatening you or your children
- keeping you short of money so you can’t buy food and other necessary items for yourself and your children, or making you take out loans
- forcing you to do something that you really do not want to do
- preventing you from taking medication, or from getting medical help when you need it
- trying to control you by telling you that you could be deported because of your immigration status
- threatening to take your children away or stopping you from seeing them if you leave.
- forcing or harassing you to have sex
- making you take part in sexual activities that you are uncomfortable with
- preventing you from leaving the house
- controlling your use of alcohol or drugs.
Myths
- A relationship is only abusive if it involves physical violence.
- All people who become involved in abusive relationships grew up in abusive families.
- Domestic abuse victims who don’t leave an abusive relationship right away must have something wrong with them.
Domestic abuse is never the fault of the person who is experiencing it. Domestic abuse is a crime.
How to get help
If you think you are being abused, or worry you may commit domestic abuse, please speak to your midwife, GP or health visitor or call the police on 101.
We are here to provide you with help and support. All health professionals working with pregnant women and people are trained to understand what the needs of those at risk of experiencing domestic abuse are. Children are also at risk of harm if there is domestic abuse within a family. Our professionals must follow local and national safeguarding guidance to keep you and your children safe.
If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you are in danger and unable to talk on the phone, dial 999 and listen to the questions from the operator and respond by coughing or tapping the handset if you can. How to make a silent 999 call | Metropolitan Police
Helpful resources and contacts
- Domestic abuse and sexual violence support
- Help with domestic abuse (Brighton and Hove Council)
- Domestic abuse (West Sussex County Council)
- Domestic abuse in pregnancy (NHS)
- How to make a silent 999 call | Metropolitan Police
- Rise Helpline: 01273 622 822, www.riseuk.org.uk
- Worth Service: 03302228181
- Anti-Victimisation Unit: 01273 655 657
- Brighton & Hove Housing advice): 01273 234 737
- Brighton & Hove Immigration legal services: 01273 234 755
- Threshold (Counselling service for women): 01273 622 886
- National Men’s Advice Line (Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm & 2pm to 5pm): 0808 801 0327
- Broken Rainbow LGBT: 0300 999 5428